I’d live my whole life riding the wave of excitement for the four to six hours I’d end up playing [video games] a night–annihilating my sleep schedule–because that was the only time I ever really felt alive. That was my purpose though I desperately longed for something greater. That was my great adventure, my source of wonder. Sure I believed in God, but I didn’t worship Him. I was a “Christian” far from being an actual follower of Christ.