Cristian Rodriguez
I am a pastor’s kid, but not as they would usually appear. My father left his position on the pulpit, and when he was home allowed himself to be a dad. It was never about reputation or appearance for him. My mother, on the other hand, struggled with this because of her own father for most of my life. I was like my mother in most ways, but in some key ways very much like my father. I always hated facade and saving face. I argued often with my mom about the value of honesty even if it makes me look bad. However, because of my resting face and passionate voice, this would feed into what became complex of mine. I went through most of my life thinking I was always the bad guy, but I didn’t understand. It felt like nobody could see my heart. This was especially true for my father which likely had a lasting effect on how I related to God.
I grew up with two little brothers. I was the oldest, and so I had to “know better”. I had to be an example even though I didn’t know what to do with my anger or my emotions. It wasn’t until I was around twelve years old that my parents sat me down and revealed that I was able to talk to them about how I felt. This was the beginning of a new life, and it eventually healed my idea that I couldn’t do the same with my heavenly Father. My family was very open and honest with each other. We talked about how we felt about things and laughed together often. My mother always wanted us to grow up in a house of peace unlike the homes both my parents grew up in. My exposure to God and His ways were through the Bible and animation such as Veggietales and the Prince of Egypt.
Also my mom would bring out this felt board to teach us Bible stories. She would voice all the characters and make them move around. I fell in love with storytelling at an incredibly early age. I knew the power of story was close to God’s heart even before I began to study formally in the subject. My dad always used to joke that I would take after him in pastoral work, but I insisted that I would never be a pastor. I still know in my spirit that I am a storyteller at heart. The Lord has been gracious enough to give me opportunities to fall in love with the story of the Bible which eventually developed a passion for Bible study. This, of course, led to a desire to teach what I had learned and discover the truth alongside other seekers of the Lord. Even my writings began to change as I was replacing my inspirations from secular media to God’s Word.
Today, I am married to a woman who came from a very different household. God gave her to me to draw me closer to Him and me to her in order to build the home of peace that she never had. Together, we minister to both of our families; to bring healing where there was once pain. I often felt as if there was always something bigger for me to do in this life, but the Lord taught me—gently and over time—how to wait on His Spirit to lead me and assign me my burden. So much of my spiritual transformation has happened within the last few of years. I surrendered my idols, including my dreams, to God, and He gave me a new ambition. I praise the Lord for His deliverance and desire to be like my Father.
And so, I've put down my fantasies and idolatrous sub-creations in favor of a...