A Meditation of Wandering Tears (7/25/24)

"The words He pulled from my heart."

Previously published in Fall 2024 71.5 Magazine

I cry, I cry

Weeping tears of wandering

Thoughts that disappear into the shadow

Of a way I cannot perceive,

A wind I feel but cannot follow.

He tells me to take a step and I do

He tells me to wait and I should

But what must I do in the time of silence?

I close my eyes and remember His voice

I hear it in the wind

It bleeds out from creation

And I weep again

Crying, crying tears of joyful wandering.

I am not lost for He has found me

I am not confused though I don’t understand

But every step is illuminated

Every door is opened

I finally see the light I hid my face from

It is beautifully blinding

And I cry and cry and cry

Tears of wandering thoughts

And aching desire for memories I am cursed to never know.

On that day, He will remind me

Of the the things we once knew

Why cry when I must walk in His footsteps?

Why sin when I know I am born of Eden?

Save me, Lord! I am a slave to my shame

Freed by your conquest of death

And the legend plants in my heart

To reveal it as truth in a world of lies.

The myths crumble and the gods wither

But my God, Lord Jesus, is the Hero of heroes

He is the One

And so I fall on my knees

To cry those tears of wandering.

Where do my thoughts sleep?

Or is it my body that sleeps?

Lord, let Your will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven.

Amen.